Letter to Gym M

Dear Mother of Obnoxious Gym Child,

I dread Tuesday afternoons and trying to teach your child! Yes I understand she is precious to you...and in your words "a little strong-willed" but I hate to break it to you...she just needs a firm hand and a spank to the butt or flick on the nose (very effective on my two). Here is the list of things it was not okay for your child to do in my tumbling class yesterday.

• spit on another child and laugh
• eat food off the floor
• hit another child
• throw a screaming fit like I was torturing her for holding her hand while walking to the trampoline.
• encourage two other children to not participate forcing me to restructure the whole class.

Okay, Mom of said Brat: The gym is not a babysitting service to leave her for an hour (although if said child were mine I would probably dump her at every available opportunity). We are also not disciplinarians....in that the worst I can do is talk to her firmly and withhold gum or lollipop at the end of class for misbehaving. Then when I try to talk with you at the end of class when you came to pick her up....to laugh and roll your eyes and talk about what a little rascal the child is....just encourages the behavior.
To sum it up: Your child is a demon seek help now!
Thanks to you the Margaritas ran aplenty last night....and I am thinking about asking for a raise.